Sunday, October 11, 2009

Damn Insecurity

Sorry, I don't usually swear. Okay, I never swear. "Damn" is about as harsh a word as you'll ever hear from my mouth. But when you hear it, heads up. I am usually pretty upset. I am pretty upset about being so damn insecure. I guess it's kind of freeing to say that, too. I think I can say it now, as it's been nearly a year since the last post, and is anybody reading this anymore? I don't know if anyone ever was any way.
And there I go feeling insecure again. I guess nobody likes me. Oh stop right there! I know I know, there is nothing more lame than self pity. This is why I choose at this time to swear. Damn it all! I hate insecurity. I hate inhibitions. This after a day with people who I don't think really like me. Who would ever dare to admit that? ARGGGG I could say so much more but it probably would not benefit anyone, and I wish to honour God with my words so all I can say is... damn insecurity!!

Nearly a year. So we have another baby now, and she is beautiful. We are a happy little family. I just wish I could be a little more confident in myself. But motherhood is getting better with two, surprisingly, and much to my relief.

I will end with that.

9 comments:

Nicholas said...

Hi Holly,
Glad to see a new post. I check often. I think of you guys often and of your family that I have never met. I wish I could put a smile on your face and tuck away those "damn insecurities". I hope you have a good day.
Hooper

Crystal Sullivan said...

I am happy to see you back....I was pretty sure you weren't pregnant anymore! ;) I hear ya on the insecurities! I am totally that way and I usually come of soundling like a Bitch! Yup, i do swear...i really can't think of any other way to say it. swearing is pretty natural to me :( It was grade 8 and I remember it clearly ( the first time i swore) an i just switched schools...no one knew me and i didn't care anymore...i'd been picked on too many times! so I said a nasty one! :) Yup I was pretty damn happy about it too! it was very freeing to me to stand up for myself...I guess I liked it too much! And you know what? I ams still VERY insecure about myself!
:( they should make a group for people like us...Good luck with finding the right words! ...I usually can't without swearing :(

Amanda said...

I find your raw honesty about your insecurities refreshing. Everyone feels it, it's just that most people aren't secure(haha) enough to voice them. Anyways, I just started with this whole blogging thing and to find a blog like yours after all of the others about guys obsessed with guns, woman obsessed with their cats, more guys obsessed with their cars...well, lets just say that your posts are a breath of fresh air. Hopefully you'll be posting again soon.

chic Gucci shirts said...

post one!

roye said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bee said...

I'm reading.


Also, insecurity in inevitable. It is painful and harsh and a part of life. I've actually written a few posts on insecurity now.

Things get better.
You just can't let the bad days get you down too much.

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